Get Over It! It may sound counter-intuitive, but being perceived as an expert will get you nowhere in a negotiation.
On some level, we all want to be perceived as an expert – the person that others take advice from. You may be that person, a great advisor, a trusted expert, a go-to person in your field. That does not mean you have the upper hand in a negotiation.
Why is that? Because in a negotiation you need to be persuasive. You can’t just tell. You are not there as an advisor. The negotiation mindset is completely different. Good negotiators focus on listening, not telling.
What do they listen for? Information about what the other person wants. And information about what the other person is worried about.
A negotiation requires people to make certain trades or concessions to reach an agreement.
It’s much easier to make a deal when you can say to the other person: “I hear that you’re worried about X. It’s not my intent to …”
Good negotiators listen. Good negotiators make the other side feel seen and heard, which is the mental state necessary for reaching an agreement.
You will markedly improve your negotiation ability if you learn to listen for what people want and what they are worried about.
Reality check: How are your negotiations going? Are you getting the results that you want or that your colleagues/partners expect from you?
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